Reasons

I used to believe that everything happened for a reason.

Sometimes things don't work out the way you'd like them to because God has another plan for you or because He needs you to be somewhere other than where you think you should be.

Recently I've had some experiences that have meant the world to me. Little things. But they meant so much.

Today was a faith building kind of day. I woke up "on the wrong side of the bed". If you know me at all (Elizabeth) you know that I am NOT a morning person. Today was no exception. Typically I prefer not speaking for the first few hours. Another side effect of not being a morning person, I don't want to be touched, so being jammed into a bus with thousands of Ukrainians like a sardine, not my cup of tea first thing in the morning. Fast forward to leaving for work. I'm walking to the bus stop and I see a trolleybus, my trolleybus, pass by. I missed it. And it was nearly empty! Which is rare during "rush hour". I was frustrated. If I had just left 2 minutes earlier I could've been on that bus, with my perfectly unviolated bubble. Now I had to wait and wait and wait, and it was cold. So I waited. Next trolleybus comes and just my luck, its full. Me and 25 more people miraculously make it on to the trolleybus. Still grumpy we get to the metro stop where everyone gets off, myself included. That's when I see the reason I missed that first bus...

An acquaintance of mine, who happens to be blind, was on the same trolleybus. I had the opportunity of helping him. But here's the kicker. I had seen him on the same route several months before, and didn't help, just watched to make sure he made it okay because I was too scared to actually do anything. Today was my chance to do it right. It turned out to be an amazing blessing in my life and hopefully at least a little blessing in his. We had a great conversation and he was grateful. My perspective changed dramatically. Instead of thinking about all the things that were not right in my life, I started instead to think about how grateful I was for the things I did have. I had an "everything happens for a reason" moment and a flicker of that faith that I once had at all times. What a huge blessing! And I made a new friend!

Then after my morning classes I decided to go for a walk outside to enjoy the rare sunshine, and off my beaten path I found a lady selling an item that I previously thought could not be found in Ukraine. Some friends had been looking for ice grippers, and I could not find them anywhere, nor had I ever seen anyone(except Americans) wearing them. But lo and behold today I found some being sold. Not only that but I was able to talk to the lady about them, their cost, her "schedule" for her sidewalk shop, and other locations where they could be bought. I was able to communicate...in a language that I previously thought I would NEVER be able to speak!

It boosted my confidence in myself and my abilities and tonight I ordered pizza for delivery and I did it in Russian! And then had an effective conversation with the door lady of the apartment building.

So even though I am not fluent, and my Russian is most definitely not perfect...I'm going to bask in this moment for just a little bit. I spend so much time beating myself up for not being better. It's kind of nice to appreciate my progress for a change.

So...everything happens for a reason. Either to give a chance to be Heavenly Father's hands and serve/bless others, to humble us, or to make us realize that we might just have a little awesome in us... If you're frustrated because things aren't going the way you expected them to...open your eyes, maybe there is a reason things are happening the way that they are and not the way you wanted them to. Don't let your frustration keep you from seeing opportunities where ever you go and in whatever you do.

Be you. Everyone else is already taken.

A friend of mine just started a blog. It's amazing. Every post makes me think and then makes me want to be better.

One particular post talked about wanting to be someone else and baggage. Everyone compares themselves to others. I do. I'm pretty sure you do. He does. She does. Even those people that everyone wants to be...they do. Its human nature to compare ourselves to others. But we need to stop.

"We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strength" (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Forget Me Not). Our weaknesses to their strengths! And they do the same with us. We are not perfect. They are not perfect. And we are all imperfect in different ways. So my current goal: To want to be me and nobody else.

I also thought about baggage. We all have it. I've actually been struggling with mine A LOT lately. But I realized that I would much rather have my baggage than anyone else's. I wouldn't want to go through what my family members go through. I wouldn't want to go through what my friends are going through. I wouldn't want to go through what millions, trillions, billions of strangers are going through right now. I wouldn't want to go through what my ancestors went through. I wouldn't even want to go through what I went through in the past! Sometimes I feel like I have it hard, like I got the short end of the stick, or that life isn't fair. But if you look at it with those glasses on, it isn't fair to anyone. How about you change your prescription? The current prescription on your glasses is incorrect, its messing up your vision, making it blurry. So switch. See clearly. See the positive. And realize why other people want to be you, with your baggage, with your imperfections, everything. No matter who you are, there is still someone out there who would love to be you! So why not be one of those people?

So many people love me, warts and all. And I love so many people, warts and all. I couldn't imagine myself not loving them. So why don't I feel the same about myself?
Because I'm human, and because in order to want to change I must feel discontent (hopefully divine discontent). Its what drives us to always want to be better. But instead of focusing on what I'm not so great at, how about balancing it a little more. Don't focus on the weaknesses, it destroys our self esteem and confidence. Don't focus on only the good, that makes us cocky and gives us a huge ego. How about a good healthy balance?

And the real thought that came from Justin's post...

Do we sometimes choose our baggage? Or choose to keep lugging it around with us?
Could I choose to stop loving that person who doesn't love me back? Could I choose to forget all the things that have happened in my life? Or could I at least forgive? Forgive myself, forgive others, even if I don't understand why? Could I stop
hurting and start healing?

Friends. I want your opinions. How do you get over your issues? How to you stop dragging your baggage with you? How do you lighten your load?

Happy New Year!

What better way to start the new year than with a blog post? This morning I went on a walk with a dog I'm sitting. I was surprised at how many people were out! It was a beautifully sunny albeit icy day. And it was great watching all of the people and having them watch us. This dog is absolutely beautiful! We get a lot of attention when we're out and about. I kind of like it. He's a Vizslas dog, which is a breed that originated from Hungary. Gorgeous GORGEOUS dog! Here, let me show you:

Is that not a majestically beautiful dog? That's what I thought. So needless to say we get a lot of attention. People commenting on how beautiful...people staring, watching, gawking...and of course wishing they had a dog as beautiful as him. Just kidding. But maybe. I know I wish I had one. So today we were walking and passed some of the great sites in Kiev. St. Sophia's and St. Michael's cathedrals. Like I said there were lots of people around, so it made it especially fun. Well on our way home, just as we were passing St. Sophia's, my walking companion spotted a pigeon. This pigeon was perched ever-so-comfortably on a windowsill, definitely too high to jump to, but just low enough to tease the dog. So like a statue he stood. As streams of people walked by they would glance at me, and then they'd notice the dog, poised to attack. Quickly looking in the direction he was intently staring they'd see our pigeon friend and smile. Some would just smile and walk on, some would stop and watch for a bit, intrigued by the scene, some would snap photos with their fancy cameras(I felt like I was being paparazzi'd), but always ALWAYS they would smile. Even more entertaining was that every few minutes he would ever so slowly tiptoe a inch closer. These were the best moments. Everyone would literally stop in their tracks, inhale, and hold their breath while he moved, anticipating his attack. There were literally walking traffic jams. In the meantime, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying, because I've been watching this for 20 minutes. The dog, with his patience. The people and their reactions. And the bird, surely laughing inside and saying, "Neener neener, you can't get me!". And me knowing deep down that he won't attack, he'll barely even move. Oh how I love people! I love watching them, I love reading them, I just love them...simply love them! I will not tell you that people here don't smile on the streets, because they do. BUT it's not like it is anywhere else that you're used to (aka America). Smiles are reserved for friends, not strangers. People mind their own business and 95% of the time just keep walking. So this spectacle...so much attention and SO many smiles, was a beautiful sight. I love Ukraine so much. And I'm so grateful for today's experience for reminding me of that, because sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves and in our own stuff that its hard to appreciate how awesome our lives really are. I think it was a perfect way to start the new year. Hope your's was as great as mine. Best of wishes to all of my loved ones(so all of you) this new year. May it bring you the happiness, balance, peace, joy, love, fun, and adventure you desire. Thanks for being a part of my life and for shaping who I am today! <3